Returning to school with an eating disorder can be daunting. According to our teen clients in Empowered, lunch is the worst when it feels like all eyes are on you. You might find yourself sitting at a table full of friends, but somehow feel completely alone because you’re the only one eating. This is a common experience for many students dealing with eating disorders, and it can feel isolating and confusing.
Here’s why it happens and how to navigate it:
Why Does This Happen?
In high school, lunchtime can be a barrier for those with eating disorders. It’s not uncommon to see students skipping lunch altogether, claiming they’re not hungry, or saying they’ll eat later. Some might be dieting to maintain a certain body image, while others might be avoiding food to hide their own struggles.
Research shows that meal skipping is common among high school students. A survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that over 30% of high school students reported skipping breakfast regularly, with 62% reporting that they skip lunch.
Social media and the constant exposure to images of idealized bodies can make meal-skipping seem like the norm, leading you to feel out of place when you prioritize eating.
Eating disorders are more common than many people realize. According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), eating disorders affect at least 9% of the population worldwide, with approximately 28.8 million people in the United States alone experiencing an eating disorder at some point in their lives. This high prevalence suggests that many students in schools are likely dealing with eating disorders, which might contribute to the feeling of being the only one eating.
Additionally, eating disorders thrive on secrecy and isolation, so it’s common for those struggling to try to hide their eating habits or lack thereof. This can lead to a cycle where no one wants to be the one eating in front of others, even if they actually need the nourishment.
A study published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders found that peer behaviors significantly influence the eating habits of adolescents, showing that teenagers who are surrounded by friends who skip meals or diet are more likely to engage in similar behaviors .
How to cope with people around you skipping school lunch:
Remember, It’s About Your Health: Your priority should be your well-being. Eating your lunch is a vital part of your recovery and keeping your body strong. You’re making a healthy choice by nourishing yourself, regardless of what others are doing. It’s okay to be different, especially when it’s in the interest of your health.
Find Supportive Friends: Seek out friends who value health and well-being. They may not share your exact struggles, but they can provide a supportive environment. If you don’t feel like you have those friends at the moment, consider reaching out to a counselor or joining a support group. Being around others who are also focusing on self-care can make a big difference in how you feel.
Own Your Space: It’s okay to sit at the table and eat, even if no one else is. You’re showing strength and courage by prioritizing your health. If the situation feels too uncomfortable, look for quieter places to eat or talk to a teacher about creating a more inclusive environment. Schools sometimes have designated areas for students who need a quieter or more private space, and using these spaces can help you feel more at ease.
Talk About It: If you feel safe, share your feelings with a friend or trusted adult. Letting others know what you’re going through can open up avenues of support and understanding. You might find that others feel similarly and have just been afraid to speak up. We always recommend Therapy to anyone struggling with disordered eating or anxiety in general. If you are in need of a Therapist, please reach out. We have a fantastic referral network.
Engage in Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to help you stay grounded during lunch. Focus on your breathing, the taste of your food, or the sounds around you. Mindfulness can help reduce anxiety and bring your attention back to the present moment, making it easier to ignore negative thoughts about being the only one eating.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: If you catch yourself feeling self-conscious or embarrassed, challenge those thoughts. Remind yourself that eating is a normal, healthy part of life, and everyone needs to do it to survive. You’re taking care of yourself, which is something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
A Reminder: You’re Not Alone
It may seem like you’re the only one at the table who is eating, but many others are facing similar struggles. Your strength and commitment to your recovery might inspire others to do the same. Keep going, and know that it’s okay to put your health first. Every meal you eat is a step toward your health and well-being, and each step is a victory, even if it doesn’t always feel like one.
Citations:
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). “Eating Disorders Statistics.” NEDA.
Levine, M. P., & Piran, N. “The Role of Peer Factors in the Development of Eating Disorders.” International Journal of Eating Disorders, 2019.
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