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Why "Control" Isn’t the Answer: Healing the Root Causes of Binge Eating

Writer's picture: Leah@empoweredrxLeah@empoweredrx

For many people, binge eating feels like a loss of control. The act of eating becomes overwhelming, chaotic and emotionally charged, leading to frustration, guilt and a sense of failure. In response, the instinct may be to try harder to control eating, to impose stricter rules, tighter restrictions, a structured plan and more discipline. But here is the truth: control isn’t the solution. In fact, it often perpetuates the cycle. To truly heal from binge eating, we must address its root causes with curiosity, compassion and a trauma-informed approach.





The Problem with "Control"


When binge eating is framed as a lack of control, the solution often appears to be regaining that control. This can look like dieting, counting calories, structured meal plans, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or punishing oneself with exercise after a binge. Unfortunately, these approaches often backfire.

  1. Restriction fuels the cycle. Restrictive eating, whether physical, emotional, or mental, triggers the body’s survival mechanisms. When we deprive ourselves, our brains interpret it as a threat and drive us to seek food. This is a biological response, not a failure of willpower.

    Many people turn to meal plans or rigid food structures in hopes of gaining control, but these often mimic the same restrictive patterns perpetuated by diet culture. While structure can feel comforting, it can often backfire, reinforcing feelings of deprivation and setting the stage for bingeing. True healing requires moving away from external rules and learning to listen to your body’s internal cues.

  2. Shame intensifies the behavior. Trying to control binge eating through punishment or strict rules often creates feelings of shame when those rules are inevitably broken. Shame, in turn, reinforces the binge-restrict cycle, leaving us stuck in a loop.

  3. Control ignores the underlying causes. Binge eating is rarely just about food. It is often a coping mechanism for deeper issues like unresolved trauma, unmet emotional needs, or chronic stress. By focusing on control, we overlook these root causes and fail to address the true source of the behavior.


Reframing Binge Eating as a Survival Strategy


Instead of viewing binge eating as a lack of control, it can be helpful to reframe it as a survival strategy. The body and mind are doing their best to cope with unmet needs, overwhelming emotions or an unsafe environment. While the behavior might feel harmful or frustrating, it is a signal that something deeper needs attention.


An essential part of this reframing involves accepting all foods as part of your diet. Diet culture teaches us to fear certain foods, labeling them as “bad” or “off-limits.” This creates a sense of scarcity that fuels bingeing. By giving yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods, you can begin to dismantle the power they hold over you. There may be a period where you eat foods you have previously restricted more frequently, but this is a normal and necessary step toward building trust with your body.


This shift in perspective can create space for self-compassion and a deeper understanding of the behavior, which are essential for healing.


Addressing the Root Causes


Healing binge eating isn’t about control, it is about connection, connection to your body, your emotions and your needs. Here is how to start addressing the root causes:


  1. Ditch the diet mentality. Let go of the idea that you need to control food to heal. This might mean rejecting diet culture, challenging food rules and allowing yourself unconditional permission to eat. Learning to trust your body is a key part of recovery. Get rid of any plans that limit you! Do not worry about "healthy eating", worry about your mind & body with foods that bring you joy and nourishment.

  2. Explore emotional triggers. Binge eating often arises in response to emotional triggers like stress, loneliness, or sadness. Identifying these triggers and finding alternative ways to cope, like journaling, movement or connecting with a supportive person, can help. We always recommend Therapy!

  3. Create a sense of safety. For many, binge eating is linked to feeling unsafe, whether physically, emotionally or relationally. Building safety might involve setting boundaries, seeking therapy, or creating calming rituals that help regulate your nervous system.

  4. Address emotions & trauma. If binge eating is connected to intense emotions or unresolved trauma, working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you process and heal. Somatic practices, such as mindfulness or grounding exercises, can also support this work by helping you reconnect with your body in a safe way.

  5. Practice self-compassion. Recovery is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Self-compassion isn’t just a nice idea, it is a powerful tool for breaking the cycle of shame and fostering long-term healing.


Trusting the Process


Letting go of control might feel counterintuitive, especially if you have spent years trying to manage binge eating through discipline. But healing happens when we move beyond control and start listening to what our bodies and emotions are trying to tell us. It is not about perfect eating or never bingeing again. It is about creating a compassionate, trusting relationship with yourself.


Binge eating is a symptom, not a character flaw. By addressing the root causes with patience and care, you can move toward a life where food no longer feels like the enemy and where your relationship with yourself is grounded in understanding and kindness.

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